I: Sons are supposed to be mama’s boys while daughters are papa’s darlings. How true is that?
I AM: Contrary to the general opinion, girls have a special relationship with their mothers while boys do with their fathers. Both the parents have a great responsibility. When you solve your own issues, your children’s issues automatically get resolved.
I: Is there any gender bias here?
I AM: Yes, when fathers resolve their issues, the sons’ issues get resolved while when mothers resolve their issues, the daughters benefit.
I: Mothers are supposed to be the most unconditional in giving their love. How important is a mother-child relationship?
I AM: Your relationship with your mother is a reflection of your emotional health, your emotional quotient. It tells you how well you can handle your emotions. It also reflects your love for the self. So if you think that your mother does not love you, it means that you do not love yourself.
I: My mother has been very loving and nurturing. Does it mean that I love myself unconditionally?
I AM: Take a good look at your relationship with your mother. Is it 100% perfect? Don’t you find any faults in her? Doesn’t she find any fault in you? None of you love yourselves unconditionally, so no mother-child relationship is completely unconditional.
I: As I have grown older, my relationship with my mother has improved. Is it because of maturity?
I AM: As you grow older, you evolve and mature. You accept yourself a little more. You love yourself a little more. This gets reflected in your relationship with your mother. As you grow comfortable with yourself, you become comfortable with your mother.
I: What about fathers? What is our relationship with them?
I AM: Most girls think of their dads as their universe while most boys perceive them to be a threat.
I: Why threat?
I AM: Because they wish to have the power that they see and admire in their dads. Every boy thinks that his father is a superman, a hero; his ideal. Now if this hero tells the son that he is not behaving properly, he is not strong enough, smart enough etc or shows his disappointment in some way, this boy cringes inside. He tells himself that he can never match his dad. He can never be a hero. He can never please him. So, the father is perceived as a threat.
I: What do our dads reflect back to us?
I AM: For all children their fathers are the symbol of their inner power. They signify inner authority. If you do not have a good relationship with your father, it means that you feel powerless inside you. On the other hand if you share a healthy relationship with your dad, it means you are blessed by an inner power.
I: What about people who lose their parents?
I AM: If you lose your mother, it reflects a deep rooted issue of self love and nurturing. If you lose your father, then it is a deep seated issue of powerlessness that needs to be addressed in this lifetime. Such people choose this external lack of support in order to experience their own intrinsic worth. They turn inwards for love and nurturing.
I: This means that every external circumstance and every relationship that we have tells us something about ourselves.
I AM: That is right. This is a perfect system for ‘knowing’ yourself! Please be aware of your significant relationships and you will learn a lot about yourself.
I: What about our siblings? What role do they play?
I AM: Your siblings reflect the support system that you feel within yourself. If you feel a lack of inner support, you will have a troubled relationship with your sibling.
I: Sometimes we have good relationship with one sibling but a conflict with another. What would that signify?
I AM: The one that you have conflict with carries the same energy structure as you. However, since your siblings come from the same parents, the root of your inner lack of support comes from a lack of self nurturing and powerlessness.
I: What role do our friends play in our growth?
I AM: They play a smaller part as compared to your other significant relationships. They make sure that you are continuously growing and evolving. They do this by acting in a manner that you appreciate or that irritates you.
I: What is your message for today?
I AM: Look at everyone and everything as a reflection of YOU. Learn about yourself. Grow and evolve.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Taken from Spiritual Parenting